X is for xenophobic

I wake up with Dolores poking me in the back and decide (with a good pang of Catholic guilt) not to go to church.

I go to Z.. for a cappucino. I still can't decide whether the girl who works there dislikes me, dislikes strangers/foreigners, isn't good in the morning or simply doesn't derive an awful lot of satisfaction from her job. I wonder whether face like a spanked bottom translates into Italian?

I wander through the Sunday crowds back home via a gelato stop. I have decided that as I am nearly at the end of my stay I should sample as many flavours as possible. A large scoop of rum and raisin for lunch.....sometimes it's fun being a grown up.

Katy

(X is for X - The Spirals)

W is for wish

Find a genie in a bottle, wish upon a star, ask your fairy godmother; I don't care, but WHAT would you wish for?

I used to think that I should be a certain way, have achieved certain things by now. 2.4 children and such stereotypes (what does 0.4 of a child look like by the way?) Dolores has made me realise that it's the outside world that makes you feel this way. A list of life must-haves compiled to weigh on your shoulders. Mine got so heavy my back began to ache. That's my diagnosis - I have an Atlas complex. The weight of the world on my shoulders. Where's Heracles when you need him?

What's really important?

A brother's Christmas card I carry with me.

The ability of a friend to make me laugh out loud with the first two words of an e-mail.

Knowing that my parents would take Dolores away if they could.

A letter from my Grandma.

And a cuddly toy.

I'm grateful to Dolores for teaching me. I have always been a good student; never in trouble at school. But the lesson has gone on for such a long time now and I know I will always keep learning. I just wish she would let me do it on my own now.

Katy

(W is for What World - Damien J Carter)

V is for Vicious Circle

I hate her I HATE her I HATE HER.

I wake up with the morbid tiredness that can precede a migraine. Why can’t she just leave me alone? I have little enough time to spend with the P’s but she wants to take even that away from me. I apologise and crawl back to bed after breakfast. Thankfully Mum goes out to explore - I would have felt dreadful if the bitch kept both me and Mum indoors.

I feel better for a days sleep and Mum and I make it out for an evening drink. (Mum champagne, me hot chocolate). I can’t help smiling at how rock and roll I have become - wrapped in a blanket sipping hot chocolate before retiring home into pyjamas on a Saturday evening. I have most definitely gone Pete Tong.

We shop locally because Dolores doesn’t want to eat out, again. Salad, roasted aubergines, sun dried tomatoes, stuffed pepperoni, ciabbatta and spaghetti with pesto. Not exactly the kind of feast stocked by the average British corner shop.

I congratulate Dolores on another victory.

Katy

(V is for Velveteen - Transvision Vamp)

U is for Unspoken

Dolores can be an awkward companion for people to be around. Should they acknowledge her? The result is lots of people treading on proverbial eggshells - me worrying that I am spoiling other peoples fun whilst they in turn worry about me. She’s wicked, always causing mischief.

I meet the P’s for lunch. An unassuming Osteria with a migraine-inducing colour scheme; royal blue and red walls and staff uniforms of purple and yellow. Peeling paint, rickety chairs, chipped tables and the most fabulous food. Wonderful Chianti and perfectly cooked risotto - none of the rice pudding slop I have attempted in the past.

Despite the fact that Dolores won’t let me out come evening, Mum and I are content. Sitting end to end on the sofa wearing our pyjamas she tells me family history stories. I love this stuff. It’s so important to remember, to hand down. Part of me.

Katy

(U is for Unidos para la Musica - Roger Sanchez)

T is for time

My parents have arrived for a couple of days to check that I am surviving in a foreign country on my own.

We spend a pleasant morning at the Uffizi, which is mercifully quiet.

I had booked a restaurant for this evening. Dolores doesn't want me to go though. She doesn't see why we should have to go out when we never go out in the evening. She starts whingeing in the afternoon and by early evening has worked herself up into a full blown tantrum. I am furious. Miserable. Tearful. This type of occasion is when she gets to me most. Going out in the evening has virtually become a thing of the past and she makes me feel so old. Such an invalid.

Of course for added effect it's Valentines night.

Tempus fugit. Time flies.
Are you scared? Yes, terrified.

Katy

(T is for Teardrops - Womack and Womack)

S is for sleepless

She won't let me sleep despite feeling ill. She wants me to appreciate how I feel, unconsciousness would be a luxury.

What went wrong?
It was all going so well.
I'm a shadow of my former self
and the shrunken hollow shell
wonders if I curl up tight enough
will I disappear from this painfull hell?

Katy

(S is for Sympathique - Pink Martini)

R is for reflective

It's a grey miserable day - ideal for a spot more culture and I decide on the Basilica di San Lorenzo. I can't believe I haven't noticed it before, but I love the fact that I am still discovering Florence after several weeks. I have been careful not to visit all the tourist sights simply to put a tick in a box and 'do Florence' - the last thing I want to get is blase about priceless works of Renaissance art.

On the way home I stumble across an art gallery where I bought a picture on my first visit to Florence, in another lifetime. I am melancholy. The sight of the girl with sad eyes reflected in the glass takes me by surprise.

The emotional beating is exhausting. Combined with the morning's walk, I am physically and mentally worn out and Dolores swiftly threatens a migraine.

I quickly consume food and drugs and head to bed with that stalwart comfort Radio 4.

Katy

(R is for Relax, Take it Easy - Mika)